Tag Archive | washington dc

We Be Clubbing Edition

So I didn’t do anything intellectually stimulating, cultural or artistic this week. I went to the club. Remember before your mid-30’s when you were 18 – 24 and going to the club was everything? I still remember my first time at the club. Cue flashback sequence. This leads to one of my favorite stories. It was my cousin’s 18th birthday. I am three months older, so we needed to wait until her birthday to hit the club. My birthday consisted of a dinner. We had a slight disagreement about where to go. She wanted to go to UBQ’s, which had male dancers. I have another epic story about male strippers that will need to wait. I wanted to go to Legends because everyone on the radio made it seem to be the coolest place in the world and Monday was “College Night” or 18 and over night. This was a Monday. Score! But it was her birthday, so we went to UBQ’s. This was in the early days of MapQuest, when it was a software program and terrible. You would plug in your location and desired destination.  Then, print out the equivalent of a 5 year old’s line-drawn map that didn’t even give you cross streets.  Our younger brother (okay, he’s my cousin) swore with his 12 year old might that this was way better the traditional paper maps we used from AAA.

So we lied to our parents about where we were going. Detroit? By ourselves? On a weeknight? Lies were necessary. Her birthday fell in this weird week high school seniors got off between the last day of exams and graduation. However, non-seniors were still in school. We followed the directions on this MapQuest printout and…. We were in the middle of nowhere Detroit. This is when I learned a valuable lesson: Never Ask Detroiters (city dwellers, not suburbanites) for Driving Directions! I actually messed up and did this last year while looking for a post office. I saw and almost passed the real post office while following some alleged directions. Since I made it, dude was spared any ill thoughts.

Back to the 90’s, we asked the lady at the gas station if she knew where UBQ’s was. She claimed she did and we were sent to lovely Wyandotte.  This is when we called my cousin who should be in bed and asked him to go on the computer and figure out what went wrong. This was nearly disastrous as my uncle heard my cousin on the phone and wondered what he was up to and why he wasn’t in bed, of course. School night and not supposed to be in Detroit, remember?

My cousin gave us new MapQuest directions from our current location and we headed en route to not UBQ’s. This landed us downtown. UBQ’s was not in downtown Detroit. I knew this much from the radio ads. We decided to ask the street jackhammer guy if he knew where UBQ’s was. He claimed he did. We used his directions and ended up at Legends! That is where we went as it was almost midnight. On the way home, we just followed the masses, who led us to the freeway (or “eway” as it is called back home). We went westward home.

That experience was fun and exhilarating due to the fact we were 18. Getting lost for 90 minutes at this point in my life just to go to the club would leave me humorless and mad. We went to POV this previous weekend. This worked well as the theater crowd was leaving and I got the best parking spot. You wait indoors to get in, no shivering. You don’t have to pay and you get a show as this place draws an eclectic crowd. Apparently, there was some demented prom theme happening as we saw a lot of ladies in brightly colored, ruffled evening wear. Then, there were the touristy meemaws, who looked thoroughly confused as to why anyone would suggest this place to them. The preppy former frat boy and sorority girl K street types. An entire family unit of mom, dad, and two adult sons. The loud, arguing hoochie mamas with multiple wardrobe malfunctions. The occasional drunk girls, who must have pre-gamed as even basic drinks are $14.50 a pop so people are rarely drunk there. I noticed all of this because we were sitting in the hallway as my friend’s fabulous new shoes hurt.

Prior to that we went to 901 restaurant. The food was okay, the service was slow. But they had light up menus. I liked the light up menus. I have steered away from eating out so much lately as my waistline has been mad at me and I feel like I haven’t been missing much with my latest dining experiences. No more clubbing for the rest of the year!

The Birthday Edition (Not Mine!)

This week has been full of win. First, I discovered that I won my hearing against The Man, which turned out to be a woman.  Second, my aunt sent me my Christmas gift early—A Keurig! I only drink about a cup of coffee a day and always thought it would be perfect for my lifestyle. However, it runs $100+ and never thought I could justify the expense. I honestly cannot remember the last time I wanted something rather pricey, $20 or more, and got it as a gift. As a single adult, expensive presents just isn’t something you get. I am quite pleased.

Work has been getting in the way of my social life. The long hours and open Petrie dish of ickiness, I mean open work environment, exhausted me and I didn’t make it to the Leela James concert on Friday or drinks with a friend on Saturday. Sunday quickly became by use or lose all hope for having an interesting weekend. Another problem with being single is when people ask, “How was your weekend?” If you are married or otherwise involved and you say “Well, I went to Home Depot and purchased a shovel”, people smile and nod. Conversely, if you say the same thing as a single person, people frown and ask if you’ve tried online dating.

First on Sunday, we went to brunch at Sax. This space has been about seven restaurants/concepts since I lived here, so I don’t have great expectations for its success. Sax is a burlesque lounge complete with waitresses in

Overview Picture of Sax Lounge, courtesy of the website

Overview Picture of Sax Lounge, courtesy of the website

corsets and shows every 30 minutes. I am one of the few people that actually found the Christina Aguilera + Cher vehicle, Burlesque, cute. So, I thought it would be a fun time. The first number was “Lady Marmalade,” which I felt was a little too close to the video from Moulin Rouge. Even the wigs were the same.  The best number was the second one that I saw, which was “Big Spender.” This looked exactly what I think burlesque is: flirtatious, sexy, fun, well-executed and great choreography. The last was so lackluster that actually don’t remember the song.

The place is dark. A little too dark for a winter brunch as the days get short and sunlight is at a premium. The food is excellent. I had a lobster hash, which was divine, sumptuous and perfectly seasoned. I add pepper to everything as a holdover to bland college cafeteria food and needed to add nothing. My friend had crab and gruyere fondue, which was so remarkably crabby. It was not just crab essence as I would expect. We also had unlimited pomegranate mimosas and free birthday cake shots, which were too large to be shots. The shots were given because while the food is excellent and the performances, average. The service is so slow and I complained. I am not a complainer, so that demonstrates how slow it was.

Poster from the Kiss N Grind event

Poster from the Kiss N Grind event

Finally, we rounded out the day at Kiss N Grind. The event was planned by a personal favorite, Lil SoSo Productions (the owner, Kat, looked gorgeous), and was amazing. I came to the event slightly tipsy, so the two free drink tickets (sponsored by Smirnoff) sat for a while. The Viktor Duplaix event is typically held in LA and is on its first tour. I thoroughly enjoyed the music, the drink menu (eventually) and the space (Ozio’s rooftop) worked well (sunlight!). While initially, I was concerned about that lack of people on the dance floor, the crowd loosened up and grinded away as promised. I did not spot any kissing though.

All in all, I think that one day trumped some entire weekends.