Stay Cute Mondays – Ten Crack Commandments

Feb25

Everyone has their own addiction and my addiction has always been getting a good deal. I just paid full price for a purse because my sale purse was defective. This was not a good day for me. I haven’t paid asking price for a retail item in about never. I always prized quantity over quality. This was exemplified even in childhood. My cousin and I would go to the candy store a few times a week. Each of our mothers gave us a dollar. My cousin, the spendthrift, would buy two things that always seemed to be more than a dollar. While I would rack up on multiple inexpensive items: Now or Laters, Pixie Stix, pop rings, Blow pops, Lemonheads and Bazooka Joes. And I always had money to give to my cousin so she could buy the good candy: candy bracelets, Snickers, Reese’s Cups. Those items were 55 cents a piece and so not worth it. I tried to convince her to only buy one candy bar and a bunch of small items, but she rarely did.

This continued into my adult life. I own entire outfits (okay some of these outfits just consist of dresses, which is actually my favorite kind of outfit) that cost less than my beloved luxury lip gloss. Hey, I am not tremendously cheap. That lip gloss costs between $25 and 30 dollars, depending on the brand. However, lately I feel my dealers, I mean suppliers, umm, retailers are failing me. Last Friday, I received a mailer advertising a free tote with purchase! A free tote! I worked conferences and conventions for three years: I own plenty of free totes. I own so many totes that I give them away to needy people struggling to carry multiple items.

I need these retailers to advance their efforts, if they plan to keep me on the roster. Therefore, I am issuing Ten Crack Commandments for retailers to maintain my business. You will thank me for it later. Here are the first two.

1. Thou Shall Not Notify Me of Nonsense.

What is nonsense? About 90% of my current email comes from places where I purchased something in the past. Most of the correspondence is useless:

Telling me that there is new product (So)
Free shipping (Wow, $10 or less savings)
News reports about your product (Wow, Cosmo rated you a 10, now where’s my discount?)

Seriously. One evil retailer that will not be named toyed with my sanity by sending three – four emails a day reminding me that it is Christmas and kids like presents. I couldn’t shake them. I blocked them, but they kept changing their email address slightly. I did the remove me from your list button click. Finally, I just boycott them. I haven’t purchased anything from them since this unfortunate onslaught of messages.

2. Correspondence Shall Only Include Coupons.

Yes, only real, substantial coupons, worth 30% off or more. I will make exceptions to emails and letters alerting me to sales where the entire store is 30% off or more. A sale, however, only meets this threshold at 30% and nothing lower, unless it is a luxury brand or a retailer that only has biannual sales. My skincare company does two coupons a year: one at 20% off and one for $20 off a $75 purchase. This is a big deal. This does count. Plus, retailers should understand that I am great at math. Giving me a $15 off a $75 purchase is only a 20% discount. Therefore, this doesn’t count. I will not have my time wasted with deleting your email. Just don’t send it in the first place.

Stay tuned for more.

Loving You, Losing You

Feb17

Young Whitney

It’s been a year since we lost my beloved Whitney. I still remember where I was: on the couch, preparing for an ill-fated date. I tried not to be upset as I had to be engaging and entertaining. When Michael died, I took a weekend to grieve properly, absorbing video marathons, poring through photos online, wishing he was at peace. I couldn’t do that for my Whitney. Instead, I was forced to push on. This is one of those days that the rituals of being a single woman are exhausting. The fact that my date dismissed Whitney in favor of the so-called better artist of Beyonce made this date pointless in hindsight. I like Bey, but no.

I had been worried for her all winter. I saw Whitney post-filming of Sparkle and she looked puffy. I wondered if she relapsed and began a drug withdrawal protocol. Familial experience gave me the knowledge that medical withdrawals pack on the pounds. I figured she was surrounded by triggers and was concerned. Of course, that I don’t intimately know her proves my ultimate fandom. She had been filming a movie, experienced an unsatisfying tour and re-promoting herself. This is a lot of stress for a woman I rarely saw happy.

I had to be 8 years on when I discovered Whitney and instantly fell in love. First, it was the mid-80’s and young Black women were rarely seen on television. People may not remember this era but before the Cosby Show, there wasn’t a huge glut of Black female faces in culture. Black men, yes. Women, no. My first attention revolved around Diana Ross and loving her Central Park concert film, which was shown on syndication often. However, Diana was old, well older than my mother and not particularly relatable. Then Whitney arrived, tall, gorgeous (people often forget how beautiful Whitney was as it became so secondary to her talent) and could sing SING. Not that female singers then couldn’t belt out a note. But she could stand assuredly and sing so effortlessly. Nothing short of amazing. I fell so deeply in love the moment I saw her. It would never be the same (though I just quoted a Mariah lyric there).

I remained truly devoted. I forgave her ridiculous wigs, which had a tendency to minimize her beauty. Maybe that is why she relied on them so heavily. I shrugged off critics that wrongly claimed her music wasn’t soulful enough. I have never been one who thought that emotion outranked vocal ability, which is probably why I was never a huge Mary J Blige fan. She was no my Whitney. I decided to dislike Diana Ross, because Whitney mentioned that she was mean to her while she was starting out. Whitney liked Aretha. I liked Aretha. I boycotted the Soul Train Awards when she was booed. Forget them, for not recognizing true talent, beauty and poise.

While exceptionally accomplished, my Whitney always possessed an edge in interviews. She always needed to defend herself against those who said that she couldn’t dance (she couldn’t, but really?), she wasn’t down (she’s from Newark, home of scary Blackness), she was manufactured (as the best singer bot ever and that sounds awesome!). I noticed inklings that she wasn’t squeaky clean: rumors of an affair with Jermaine Jackson (Whitney always had terrible taste in men), fights in clubs, arguments at football games. I knew that’s what the record company was hiding, her rawness. Maybe the requirement to smooth those edges got to her. We will never know.

When she passed, I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry when I watched the funeral. One of my mini Twitter rants from two years ago, was the fact that I never hear Whitney songs on the radio. Yet, I hear Madonna songs and I didn’t like it. So one day, four-five months after her death, I heard two Whitney songs on two different stations while driving and I sobbed. A true, all out bawl. Goodness, my icon. The first true love of my little girl heart was gone.

I wanted such great things for her. I wished that she got away from fame and drama for a while to seek peace. I never truly abandoned her, just prayed that she got it: who she was, who she didn’t need to be. Find the safety in the knowledge

Sing Whitney

of what she could and couldn’t control. Her chaos (I completely forgot her messy her union with Bobby was until a read a rerun interview with Vibe from the mid-90’s) could easily be discarded for quiet. I still recall an interview with Oprah, while Mariah Carey gazed at her so lovingly, she admitted that she was lonely. I wanted to run around and get her somegreat friends. When I saw her that atrocious Being Bobby, I saw glimpses of her funny, fierce, phenomenal self and I hoped that those moments of her could become more frequent. I never made jokes about the substance abuse. It’s an easy vice that becomes all consuming way too quickly. What I wished for her is that she could always stand still and sing effortlessly, leaving all of the lessers behind.

The Art for Art’s Sake Edition

Feb9

Last weekend, I realized that I am creative but not artsy. Ever since I was a child, my cousin and I created songs, plays, short stories. In fact, my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Firestone, would spotlight my short stories on a regular basis reading them to the class because she found them hilarious. The problem with me is that I don’t live and breathe artistic expression. I have stories, scripts, and melodies floating around my head that I never put to paper. After my creative writing class in high school, I haven’t finished a short story since. Started many, but finished no. My creative writing course in college wrongly focused on poetry. I am quite a terrible poet and what should have been a forcing mechanism to get me to finally put thought to paper, failed me. Thus, I left with no wonderful collection of stories to share with the world.

Photo Courtesy of Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center

How did I come to this realization? Last weekend I went to the Festival of New Works, a series of one-act, one person plays by graduating University of Maryland MFA students. A friend of a friend of a friend (an extremely ghetto connection) wrote and starred in one play while my dance instructor choreographed the other play being presented. The plays were vastly dissimilar. The first centered on a young girl who receives visits from Krishna because he wants her to help him with an epic battle. The second served as a celebration of the life of Florynce Kennedy, a real life lawyer and feminist.

To me, the first work did not lend itself to a one person show. I loved that music accompanied the action as I believe that music should accompany even going to the bathroom. However, the fantastical tale required a great deal of imagination, which is not everyone’s strength. The play demanded that the audience 1) believe an adult as a child 2) see through a child’s eye of intricate dreams and 3) understand that all of the challenges are allegories for other things. As an imaginative only child, this was a slam dunk.

Quite obviously, the audience preferred the second work, mainly because the protagonist is brash, smart and profane. However, I ran intoa personal quibble with this work: I am not a fan of auto/biographies. This started when I read Dreamgirl in elementary school, a book my Motown devotee mom picked up. People tend to leave out critical details about themselves or others in these works that make them more human—failings, mistakes, ill temper, etc. Mary Wilson gave a wonderful account of the music scene in the 1960’s but glossed over her unexpected pregnancy, vanity and passivity. Filmed or reenacted plays often give you set pieces and events, but rarely tell a complete story. As the completion queen, I like a beginning, middle and end. The story of Flo Kennedy recounted her childhood, her law career and her feminist radicalism (sorta) but never let me know how she earned enough to live in the Upper East Side, why she became so outspoken, etc. I recently read Olive Kitteridge, the Pulitzer Prize winning collection of stories about a single protagonist. While infuriating, the heroine, if she could be called one, reminded me of people I actually knew. Flo could easily be someone that I could see myself in on the surface but didn’t, because I didn’t get to know her just events throughout her life.

This is why historical films rarely work (see: Red Tails). You need to hit all of the events, so things move quickly, often too quickly. If the author attempts to add possible motivation for action, someone, somewhere will cry foul and let you know that the person never wore blue socks, or always said “Hey” instead of “Hi.” Thus writers have little leeway in terms of creating an interesting story. Not that the play wasn’t interesting. It was. But it didn’t give me anything to hold onto.

The reason I realized that I am not artsy delves into after the show. We hustled to dinner with the cast (of one) of the first play and friends. And the friends were artsy. Irritatingly artsy. With weird avant garde projects that seemed intrusive and wrong headed (let’s film at risk students and watch them flounder) or huh? (I’m doing a thought piece on community by inviting the audience to build a house). These people live and breathe art. The kind of art that me as an actually creative person finds annoying. I am practical. Not so practical that I don’t know what an allegory is, but practical enough that I don’t like artificiality. This highlights another struggle of mine—action movies. The crux of genre is incomprehension. Nothing that happens make sense or even has a beginning, middle and end. I am supposed to care about Bruce Willis’ dead wife that we rarely saw because it helps a complicated premise (see: Looper). This is why I avoid interactions with creative types. You never know what you are going to get and I like to let the work stand on its own.

The Overambitious Edition

Feb3

Running a bit late, but here goes. I had multiple plans for this weekend, but the snow and a headache reduced my packed weekend from 5 to 2 events.

Jose James at the Howard Theater

Last week, I had the pleasure of seeing Jose James at the remarkably frigid Howard Theater. Seriously, the place was freezing. People wrapped themselves in coats and scarves. Growing up in Michigan I was always taught that if you bundle up in your coat indoors, what will you do when it’s 20 degrees or more colder outdoors? Therefore, I never walk around in outerwear (a sweater or shawl only) no matter how cold it is indoors. And really, is it every 24 degrees inside like it was that day outside.

But back to the show. I admit that I am not familiar with Jose James’ music. I spent the last few years not discovering new music, but revisting old artists. This has been a great experience musically but has placed me woefully behind the curve on current non-ubiquitous artists. However, my friends love him and the concert was only $18 due to a wonderful Goldstar deal, so I was happy to purchase a ticket. I could not quite sing along, but the songs were, lacking an action verb, amazing. I actually dislike dinner concert venues, because I prefer to face the stage not look over my shoulder at the performer. Plus, the tables were too close together and we didn’t have much breathing room. But as the night wore on, I realized that the set-up worked. James approaches his jazz-infused songs quite slowly and methodically, letting his music seep into your consciousness. Also, James has a unique ability to let his band shine and he may often stand slightly off stage as they perform. If warmer, the show with its crammed seating and intimate setting would lend itself to a throwback 50’s Harlem Jazz club, a rare occurrence in this modern time.

Changing America exhibit at National Museum of American History

Next, that weekend, a friend invited me to a group outing to visit the Changing America: The Emancipation Proclamation, 1863 and the March on Washington, 1963 exhibit at the National Museum of American History. Another admittance, I am not fond of history as an academic discipline. Current, last hundred years or so, history is easy. Television, newspapers and magazines capture and disseminate information (hopefully) as they happen as with the March on Washington. Prior to that the information gets fuzzy. Very fuzzy.

Think back to all of the rancor about the recent Lincoln film. History scholars were upset that the film depicts Lincoln as a great emancipator when his reasons for freeing slaves weren’t all together altruistic. Personally, I don’t care if Lincoln didn’t like or respect African-Americans as the historians claim as long as we were freed. That’s where the split materializes. People have this need for everyone to have pure hearts and actions. I don’t require heroes and heroines, just people who make the right decisions when necessary.

The saying goes that history is written by the victors. There are pockets of history that is written, stories that are written but not shared, and events that are distorted. Seeing these artifacts—Lincoln’s hat, Frederick Douglass’ letters, official records–makes history more tangible, but motives and thoughts will always be missing, especially without diaries or journals. The visit spurred an hours-long conversation about activism, race and the upcoming generation. Not that we solved the world’s problems, but critical thinking is always a great thing. And maybe that’s what history can provide.

Stay Cute Mondays – Staying Warm

Jan28

This gallery contains 9 photos.

The Inaugural Edition

Jan25

Inauguration 2009 felt like yesterday. That was a great period in my life: I got a new fancy car, a dream job and just returned from a trip to Italy. That job required me to work most of the Inauguration weekend planning an event, not much festivities. While everyone keeps saying it was last year, last time, the weather was downright frigid. For this and other reasons, I had no plans to go to the event though my aunt was in town with tickets. I did make it to a few choice events: we crashed attended a wonderful invite-only PBS brunch honoring Gwen Ifill’s new book on politics based on mere confidence and charm. We then went to the Inaugural concert on The Mall, which featured Stevie Wonder, Bono, Bruce Springsteen and an arctic chill.

Once, I stood as a member of “I wish I had a need to be glamorous” tribe. I was so pressed in college for opportunities to attend Black tie events; however, something happened deeper into my adulthood. I didn’t wanna. My friends signed up in 2001 to volunteer for the official Inaugural Ball for George W and asked if I wanted to join. No interest. There were a multitude of Inaugurations since. No interest. I had a fleeting thought to volunteer for the Hip Hop Inaugural Ball, but gladly decided not to spend a night in Spanx, heels and a full face of make-up while grooving to the unpleasant sounds of Lil Mama.

I missed out on what I know was wonderful: Lil SoSo Productions’ sponsored To Sir With Love event due to waiting to see if my out-of-towners wanted to do anything. They did not. Still mad at Maxwell for his Essence Festival shenanigans from 2009, the very popular Victory ball disappeared from consideration. Despite that I had a ridiculously busy weekend. In hindsight, maybe I should have gussied up and hit a big ball. I mean how many Black presidents will we get?

Friday, I had my usual routine: dance class, tacos and margaritas. I was greeted with awful DC traffic and worried for the ability to accomplish anything all weekend. However things turned out well, traffic wise. Saturday, I considered attending a brunch, really wish I had the gumption to crash, I mean attend, the Essence brunch at Acadiana. I wasn’t paying close enough attention. The weather was lovely for January and this made me think about global warming. I am not one of those people that think that 6o degrees in January is a good thing no matter how tired of the cold I become. I don’t do day parties. They are weird and I don’t like them. Being in a club at 3p on a Saturday is a waste of shimmery sun. Once I peeled myself away from my couch, I got dressed and hit the The Inauguration Appreciation Affair, an art exhibit and party at National Harbor. Yay, no DC traffic!!

Steve Harvey sponsored the event and his adorable son displayed some of his artwork. The event was crowded and I really couldn’t navigate around to see all of the artwork. My loss. I instead concentrated on completely unnecessary for my life goal chicken wings. I really wanted potato salad as I love potato salad, made it once and realized that it is a lot of work. I found the potato salad oddly sweet, much to my disappointment. I find art to be very subjective and my taste is very narrow. The pieces I saw didn’t wow me I’ll admit. When the featured artist unveiled his latest project, this woman exclaimed “Beautiful.” Amazingly, he only revealed about a quarter of the painting at that point, so apparently her taste in art is very broad. As long as something is painted, well – Success!!

Sunday was exhausting. I went to church and then an early dinner at a friend’s home. I was forced to watch football with no other entertainment available: Go Ravens!! My dress was a bit snug (this winter weight must leave). Unfortunately, I spent the event wanting to be in pants that don’t zip since I was sitting on a bar stool watching a sport I don’t like. Later, I became engrossed in an episode of House Hunters, which featured a DC couple. Bad! I finally dragged myself off the couch (recurring theme) to WonderFull. I found a parking spot pretty quickly and headed into another crowded event (recurring theme). DJ Spinna’s celebration of the genius of Stevie Wonder actually attracted Stevie Wonder last time. However, we got 9^th Wonder (I recognized him because he was on an episode of Sunni Anderson’s cooking show that I hate but watch anyway, which is doing me no good) and someone mentioned Robert Glasper’s presence, but I don’t remember what he looks like in-person and in the dark. I successfully pushed slid next to the ledged railing and watched everyone dance rhythmically on the level below. Once the event cleared out, I finally ventured to Liv’s main floor and shimmied to my favorite singer. On another note, can Liv get its bathroom situation together? It’s always a wet mess, lacking toilet paper. I actually carry my own toilet paper everywhere, even in my going out bullet purse, but still. Then home by 3a. I recognize this isn’t a life for everyone.

Finally, Inauguration Day. I was feeling remarkably social and decided to head to Uptown Magazine’s Barack the Toast at Tru Orleans. I was running late because I spent too much time cleaning my kitchen and almost missed the president’s walk to the stage (recurring theme). I ate breakfast as I always do because I wake up hungry. I still wasn’t hungry once I arrived, so I just ordered unlimited mimosas, therefore, no food review. I thoroughly enjoyed the event mainly due to my company, not due to the event’s fabulousness. I loved discussing every aspect of the ceremony from Mrs. Robinson’s Marshall Fields coat to my beloved Sasha’s restlessness to Beyonce’s earpiece flip to the inclusion of so many Hispanics and Latinos. On another note, can you believe Myrlie Evers-Williams is almost 80? Viva le melanin!! There was also a drink tasting and I didn’t care for the chocolate flavored gin/whiskey/tequila/okay I don’t remember. Why are there so many liquor brands and do any of them last? A very hyper hostess begged us to sign up for something that I also don’t remember since I found it best to ignore her for my own sanity. Once viewing the website, I understand she is one of the founders of the Toast series. Well, bless her heart.

Finally, I was famished but meals had wrapped up. I decided to meet one of my friends for yet another brunch at Matchbox Capitol Hill. En route, I met a nice barefoot woman who was lost and tired. I gave her directions (good deed of the week) and drove through the throngs of people coming from the Mall. I noticed people smartly drove as Metro was probably full of annoying visitors who never remember to take their farecard with them.

I had a goodbye dinner with the out-of-towners on Tuesday at Carmine’s. A very nice restaurant (with sad Pomegranate Sparklers) that insists you keep your plate and silverware. Yea, no. And on the sixth day, I rested.

Stay Cute Monday – The Holidays are Finally Over

Jan14

I was paid a high honor over the holidays. My head kiddie said that I give the best Christmas gifts, next to my cousin G. G and I have completely different buying strategies however. My strategy is to watch, listen and observe to pick the perfect present at a reasonable

Gift Goddess

cost. Her strategy is to ask what you want and buy you something similar but ten times better. I will admit I am not that extravagant. I just like to make people happy. Amazingly, only a handful of my family members are blessed with customized gifts. My family is large and who has that kind of time?

My family is also weird. I noticed this when outsiders and newcomers, usually girlfriends arrive. They buy the completely wrong thing. Or worse, give money or gift cards. This is pricey as in our family everyone gets a gift. Yes, everyone, even your third cousin. And our family is sizable. Next we get these peculiar—what could best be described as—stocking stuffer gifts. Boxes or bags filled with useful but random little items. This year, my bag from my cousin Z included a pumice stone, a small pack of tissues, a leopard print pen, a box of tea, a miniature box of chocolates, a personal calendar, hand wipes and a chapstick. (I think she pilfered some of these ideas from me. See below) Yep, nice and random. I love the concept: a wonderful bag of goodies. However, I am a super “J” (Myers Briggs), so I try to give my gifts a bit more structure or a theme.

Here are some ideas for the people in your life that you love, but don’t really want to spend more than $10 or 15 on. Hey, times are tight. But just because times are tight doesn’t mean buying someone a stupid shrunken martini glass as a present. Dollar stores and clearance bins are your best friends. Do not. I repeat. Do not buy someone a stupid and useless cheap gift.

The absolute worst group to buy for on a budget is teenage boys, followed by adult men. Let’s face it: their tastes are too excessive with minimal return. Once I had a cousin complain that his gifts from the family weren’t up to his standards (he never purchased gifts for others). His behind was banished to underwear land, to never part. Here are my themes:

Game Night – Buy a pack of Uno cards, regular playing cards, poker chips, dice, and a pack of another game cards, such as Would You Rather or SkipBo. These things often go on sale during the holidays for $4 or less and you can stack up. Get it? Stack up.
Pocket Fun – One year a big hit was a bag with skull earbuds (I honestly didn’t expect them to be as excited as they were), a camouflage water bottle and a unique keychain. The keychain ideas are endless including digital photo ones I once found in a clearance bin, Swiss Army knife ones I found for 50 cents!, or hard leather strap ones
Get Comfy – PJ bottoms, socks and a nice undershirt or tank top. Hopefully, if you have guys similar in size, you can get a multiple pack of tee-shirts at a big box store and split them up

Adult men are the bane of my existence. They never like anything. If you ask a man for advice on what to get a nice uncle, he will tell you something ridiculous such as a $50 Sears gift card. Not happening. I don’t try to be clever, I just want to get it done.

Car Kit – A nice travel mug, unscented hand lotion, lip balm and a small pack of tissues. They won’t like it anyway
Desk Kit – A sensible picture frame, a nice ball point pen and leather bound notebooks. Marshall’s sells really nice notebooks for $6 and they are genuine leather. It’s a bit of a waste of leather but oh well
Wardrobe Accessories – Handkerchiefs (I had a friend who loved these), black dress socks, a leather belt (I often find these for $2. Seriously!) and/or a simple scarf

Yay! Teenage girls are so much fun.

Pedicure Set – There are often these pedicure sets at discount stores that include toe dividers, pumice stones, etc. I buy one of these plus a pretty nail file, some foot lotion and some stand-out nail polish
Bath Set –Body wash, bubble bath, lotion, and cute bath accessories from the dollar store: back brush, a shower poof and a bath mitt. Of course, women get of a lot of these smell goods, so be prudent. And remember never give this to me as I break out in hives. If you want an alternative, give one of those wearable towels in place of bath products. I know these are popular, because I received three in one year once
Cool at School – I find a pretty tote bag, often on the clearance rack after the back to school run-up. I also add brightly colored hat and glove sets. Oh my goodness, H&M had the cutest hats this year

Women are rather easy, because they like almost anything other women give them. Unfortunately, men this isn’t always true for you.

Ready for Bed – Big box stores sell cute pajamas in a multitude of colors, add a snarky eye mask (Dollar Store) and cozy, fuzzy socks
Purse Pack – Buy a nice make-up bag. I got these gorgeous ones at Victoria’s Secret at their sale for $3 one year. Never to be replicated. Stuff with chapstick, a nail file (I like the big Emory boards with fancy designs), hand sanitizer, breath mints, small hand lotion and a small pack of tissues. Z’s pilfering. Her random gift bags started having these items after I gave out purse packs a few years in a row.
Relax Set – A beautiful mug (I like off the beaten path boutiques for these), gourmet tea and a wonderfully scented candle

Those are some of my tricks. I love a stress-free holiday.

2012 – The Year That Was

Jan11

“Have more fun in 2013” – Nas

Courtesy of Hip Hop Wired

I spent my last day in 2012 at Radio City Music Hall listening to Nas. The concert was amazing (a little too short) and being in NYC on NYE is an experience all its own. It was the end to a unique, but not quite, year. 2012 occurred with no major life changes: no new job, romance, accomplishment. That could be why I was so disenchanted with it. 2012 marked a significant birthday as I graduated from the cool kids club, without feeling it at all. I spent the aforementioned birthday at the opening of a new supper club, that I am not sure still exists. I wasn’t impressed and didn’t check on its progress.

I decided that I needed to push myself more, personally. I am the kind of person who can stand up to a 6’4” screaming E9 in the office or climb a mountain in a foreign country, but won’t speak to a stranger at a party. Thus, I vowed to go out more and take chances. None of these things I like, by the way.

To recap my year, I am using the same system I’ve employed since 3^rd grade. It first starts with best friends and new friends. I did make a few new friends, so go me!

Favorite TV Shows:

Parks and Recreation
Scandal
Chopped

Least Favorite Show:

Who has time for that?

Favorite New Show:

Nashville

Fun Fads:

Ridiculous VH1 Reality Shows
over-the-top nails,

Sports:

My Pistons weren’t good this year and my Tigers were swept at the World Series

Best Concert:

So difficult… as I went to a lot of great shows, but I’ll give it to Nas, since he was last

Honorable Mention:

Summer Spirit Festival, since I went free and Sharon Jones is awesomeness

Best Songs:

This was not a great new music year for me, meaning that I really haven’t been exploring music like I should. That should be something I vowed to change in 2013

Favorite Movie:

Honestly, the only movie I thought about a week even after viewing was The Silver Linings Playbook. I just loved it.

Honorable Mention:

The Avengers, because I was so amazed that they pulled it off

Funniest Moment:

There will be a ham. This line represents the ridiculousness of my work environment perfectly

Strangest Moment:

That awful wind storm in June, plus I was stuck driving in it

Worst Moment:

Having my car towed, darn it

Fun Moments:

All the moments on this blog, of course
The annual Boo Bash
Finally visiting South Beath

Favorite spots:

Panera, which shouldn’t be shared but I eat there once a week, lol
My beloved yoga studio, a good one is hard to find
Queen Makeda/1920, who knew I’d be happy going to the same spot every week

Favorite meal:

Drag Brunch in Miami, honey

Regrets:

Oh my

Highlights:

Achieving a headstand in yoga, I joke that this is my single biggest accomplishment this year
Completing The Warmth of Other Suns, as that was a long book

Stay Cute Monday – Luscious Lips Edition

Dec24

Lip gloss is my thing. Every year, I wait anxiously for Christmastime when many of the high end cosmetic companies produce gift sets for many of their products. This means that I can get a package of 5 – 7 lip glosses for the cost of or a little bit more than one gloss. For the last two years, I purchased the Smashbox sets, which were 6 for $29. They were not something I would regularly choose as I like my lip gloss a bit more saturated. Nevertheless it was a good deal considering the cost of each gloss is around $20 separately.

However, the SmashBox sets didn’t have the same bang for the buck this year, so I moved on to Stila. This holiday set was seven glosses for the low, low price of $25. Plus I had a Sephora coupon. The biggest issue with the sets is that I am a brown person and many of the colors cater to paler complexions. Plus, I have full lips. Bright bubblegum pinks only (and kind of not really) work on folks like Nicki Minaj, who is going for the outrageous. As a brown person with full lips, I have to be careful that I don’t look like 1) a clown 2) someone who just enjoyed a really delicious Popsicle or 3) a person who thought that rubbing bacon grease on her mouth was a good idea.

To combat this, I use my arsenal of lip liners, tricks I learned from tv and tips that I learned from lovely department store make-up artists.

First, you need a really nice mauve with brown undertones as lip liner as these sets are heavy on the light pinks. Sephora made a great chubby that they discontinued, so I stick with MAC’s Plum. With bubblegum pinks, I do a “porno lip”. I learned this from a tv segment on how they keep color on soap stars’ lips during makeup scenes. Apply your mauve liner to 2/3 of your lips. Then cover with any of the pink shades. It gives depth and color so you don’t look like a clown.

I stated before that I am not a fan of the color of my lips. So with translucent neutrals, I buy a what I call a lip stick approximate, which is close to the color that I wish my lips were. I apply that, then layer over the lip gloss. For more saturated neutrals, I use an infamous and often maligned brown liner. Here are the rules for brown liner. It must match your skin tone. MAC’s Cork works for me. Nothing too dark. Chestnut I am looking at you. You must blend, blend and blend with a brush. Another brand I love is Dior. They have a liner with a built-in brush. Plus, it has a softer texture and is much easier to blend than MAC products.The Stila set came with a beautiful rust that looked amazing with a orange-brown lip liner by MAC that I swear by called Mahogany. Then was a lovely raspberry color that I used with a slightly darker liner. Finally, there was this fuchsia thing that was absolutely made for thinner lips. Unlined, popsicle effect. Lined, hooker effect. Then I remember how I saw a make-up artist layer fuchsia over a copper lip gloss. I have this wasted copper lipstick that I got for $2 or 3 at Ulta. I applied that and voila. The best look yet.

See below for the color, a plain before and after I worked some magic: